Funny And Earnest Parenting Quotes From Adam Sandler

Adam Sandler is not afraid to be honest about parenthood.

The comedian and his wife, Jackie, have two daughters, Sadie and Sunny. Since becoming a dad in 2006, he’s shared about his parenting triumphs and failures.

From left: Sadie Madison Sandler, actor Adam Sandler and Sunny Madeline Sandler attend Nickelodeon’s 2016 Kids’ Choice Awards at The Forum on March 12, 2016, in Inglewood, California.

In honor of his birthday, here are 11 quotes about fatherhood from Sandler.

On Becoming A Dad

“You know what was funny? When my kid was born, I was so nervous, I didn’t know what I felt. Five minutes later, maybe 10 minutes later, it was me and the kid and a nurse. We walked down alone to just check the vital signs and all that stuff, and I had a chemical reaction in my body, where I loved the kid so much, and I was so nervous for her, and that’s when I lost my mind for the kid. So, it took 10 minutes to become a good dad. For the first 10 minutes, I was just lost.”

On Nights As A Parent

“My kids give me the most joy, but there are life adjustments. I don’t go out to meet anyone after 9:30 at night. I eat dinner at 6 or 7. If someone makes me stay out until 10:30 at night, I’m angry the entire next day because I’m exhausted.”

On Not Spoiling His Kids

“The idea of my kids being spoiled, I go to sleep thinking about it and I wake up thinking about it. I’m trying to do the right thing. With the amount of money I have, it’s difficult raising children the way that I was raised, as the son of an electrician. I took away the west and north wing of the house from those guys. So they’re not allowed in there.”

From left: Sunny Sandler, Adam Sandler, Sadie Sandler and Jackie Sandler pose backstage at the hit musical "School of Rock" on Broadway at The Winter Garden Theatre on March 23, 2016, in New York City.

From left: Sunny Sandler, Adam Sandler, Sadie Sandler and Jackie Sandler pose backstage at the hit musical “School of Rock” on Broadway at The Winter Garden Theatre on March 23, 2016, in New York City.

On His Parenting Advice

“When you go swimming with the kids, when your kids go off the diving board, you have to … And they say, ‘Daddy, watch this,’ and they do something like a cartwheel off the diving board and into the pool. You have to delay your reaction ’cause I get yelled at. They did the cartwheel, I go, ‘YEAHHH WAY TO GO, THAT’S AWESOME,’ and then they come up out of the water and I’d be staring at them. They’ll be like, ‘You didn’t like it?’”

On The Type Of Dad He Is

“I’m a worrier. I’ve learned in life now that when your kid is upset you’re rocked until they’re not upset anymore. Even when they’re not upset, you’re rocked. You’re always nervous because you want your kid to be happy. Now, I understand why my folks were always saying, ‘Be nice and be safe. Make sure everyone in the family is OK. That’s the most important thing.’ Making sure everyone in the family is OK is the most important thing. If the family hurts then you hurt.”

On Wild Nights For Parents

“Last night, my wife and I were falling asleep at 8 and we said, ‘No, we’re not giving into this sleep. Maybe we should go see a movie after the kids fall asleep.’ Well, the kids weren’t falling. I’m in one room saying, ‘Twenty more minutes until they fall asleep.’ The next thing I know, I walk out of that room and my wife and my other daughter are curled up sleeping. I’m up half the night with the other one. Welcome to parenthood.”

On Being A Famous Dad

“Honestly, at school, I’m like Santa. The kids love me and flock around me. It doesn’t make me cool. I’m just a guy with a lot of kids around him.”

From left: Adam Sandler, Jackie Sandler, Sadie Sandler and Sunny Sandler attend the Milwaukee Bucks vs. New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden on Dec. 25, 2018, in New York City.

From left: Adam Sandler, Jackie Sandler, Sadie Sandler and Sunny Sandler attend the Milwaukee Bucks vs. New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden on Dec. 25, 2018, in New York City.

On Bedtime Stories

“I’m not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, ‘All right! Get out of the room.’ But most of my stories … She gives me a subject and we go from there. Every subject she brings up has to do with food. So, it’s like, ‘Waffles.’ ‘Okay, there was a giant waffle.’ ‘Pancakes.’ ‘And he met a blanket made out of pancakes.’ ‘Syrup.’ ‘And then syrup, the river made of syrup. They had to cross it.’ That’s actually it, I swear to God. And then at the end of every story she’s like, ‘Cookies.’”

On Bribery

“The best thing about my kids’ school is you can show up any day you want and have lunch with your kids. But you better show up with an In-N-Out burger. … Same night, the kids won’t want to go to bed. My best parental technique is to look shocked and say, ‘Go to bed. Don’t you remember the In-N-Out Burger!’”

On The Circle Of Life

“When you’re around the kids, you feel like you act the most grownup just because you’re supposed to lead. I say things, like, every other day that reminds me of my own parents. One thing that I do know about being a parent is that you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.”

On Showing His Movies To His Kids

“’Every time, about 20 minutes in, I see them tuning out. Then I hear them, they’re nervous to say but, ‘Can we watch something else?’”

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